The Story of Me Into Lolita

Lolita fashion is really that rare in Indonesia. Every time I wear lolita, at least there is one person who asks me if I am cosplaying any character, which is not at all. It’s kinda frustrating to explain that we are not a cosplayer, but we can’t blame them because almost nobody here in Indonesia know what the heck is lolita fashion. So if this fashion is really that niche, it’s interesting to ask how someone know lolita fashion, and especially since most of the Indonesian media who focused on J-Pop rarely talk about this frilly fashion. Then I will begin with myself.

My first introduction to Lolita fashion was when I was 6, I read the early issues of Nakayoshi Gress!, an Indonesian imprint of popular shoujo manga magazine, Nakayoshi. One of the interesting titles among the others is Milk Shake!, written by Himawari Ezuki. It’s a story about a high-schooler who was crazy in fashion and crafts, even collecting big dump of trash in hoping to get interesting materials. One day, due to a big mistake she made, she had to find some money to patch up the mess, she made a fashion brand together with her two seniors. After some business drama, she opened her new store in Harajuku. It’s all fun and success until she faced her fashion rival who had a Gothic Lolita brand.

So basically, I fell in love with her rival’s aesthethics. I love that elegant frills and laces. I love the elegant design. I love that tacky cross motifs in her fashion items. And since the manga was created around early 2000s, of course the Gothic Lolita depicted there is old-school.

But maybe the Lolita fashion is really niche even back then, because after that Milk Shake! manga, I was exposed to the Lolita fashion aesthethics again when I found Rozen Maiden 6 years later. I immediately fell in love with Suigintou and then Kirakishou (and that’s why I often use ‘suiginshou’ for my username in games and even in my email) because of how lovely and elegant their dress designs were (and turns out they were not historically accurate lol). Their dress are also only in knee length, and at the time, I hate wearing skirts because it restricted me who have fast pace and big steps (and especially my mom’s favourite skirt type is pencil skirt, so you know how restricting that skirt is). The Rozen Maiden dolls had to fight, so obviously the Peach-Pit had to made their skirts comfy enough in battle, right?

Unfortunately, the access of getting Lolita dress is so though, and as a student of course I didn’t have that much money. I didn’t know what the petticoat is, and any dress I got in stores isn’t as wide as standard lolita dresses. Besides, I already love dark color schemes like black and red, and meanwhile most of dresses sold here are bright-colored. There is no Hot Topic and alt/goth brands in Indonesia, so it’s so difficult to get things in my personal aesthethic. That’s why when I was in high school and bachelor studies, I almost forgot the Gothic Lolita.

Until the interest sparked to me again when I was in master studies… that’s around when the pandemic striked. During this time, the market of thrift clothing was raising higher than before. The thrift fashion business have been in heavy discussion here in Indonesia because most of the thrifted clothes are actually some big tons of textile garbage from the first-world countries, not the local product. They were imported in bales and the suppliers will repackage them in smaller sets and sold to the thrift sellers.

Surprisingly for me, some bales imported from Japan are mostly from a certain specific-styles like Axes Femme and Liz Lisa, which is known as an otome brand and himegyaru/himekaji brand. The quality is not really that bad; some parts like detachable bows or sleeves may be missing and there are some stains, but there are almost no holes, so it’s still wearable even though the government here call them “garbage”. If you are lucky, you can source some entry-level lolita brands like Bodyline (the brand I mostly owned for now), Maxicimam, and Putumayo; and if you are even luckier you can get an Angelic Pretty or Baby, The Stars Shine Bright. I assume that this is the reason why the kawaii fashion, including lolita, start to get popular than before.

And that’s how I was reconnecting with the lolita fashion. So I stumbled on a kawaii thrift shop and she sold a black Bodyline dress in Shopee, and I bought it without much thinking. It was my first lolita dress ever and when I opened the package, I was so teary. This is my dream since my school days and finally it come true. Although the dress turns out not in a flattering silhouette for my body type, I still keep it dearly and don’t plan to sell it yet.

I have became more active in lolita fashion since that day. There was a time when I found a Putumayo dress in another seller and kinda wondered why it was not selling fast. I thought the colour is still in safe-zone to coordinate, it is different shades of grey with some silver and black. I bought it when I got my money, and when it arrived, it was even lovelier in person. That was my first lolita dress I wore in public on October 30, 2022 (and I cemented that day as ‘my lolita birthday’) and I won a lolita fashion competition with that dress.

So, Why Lolita Fashion?

Even though I love classic aesthethics, I can’t deny that I’m living in a modern world. The Western European fashion is captivating for me; but as a tropical land dweller, the enormous layers in that fashion is too hot and cumbersome to wear no matter what materials are. Besides, the roads in my country are mostly uneven and since I am a very active person with — once again — wide steps and fast pace — I dislike wearing long skirt.

Then comes lolita fashion. It brings me the European fashion touch I want, but still comfortable to walk with since the dresses are mostly knee-length. The ruffles and laces give the elegance, but I see that no matter what the style is, lolita fashion can bring something cartoonish and campy touches which are adorable for me. You can clearly see it in sweet patterns and shapes in sweet lolita (OTT especially) and meanwhile gothic lolita has wide jabots, assymetrical cuts, tacky cross patterns, high platforms, exposed zipper in the middle of the dress (well it’s functional if you want to have some color play, but the fact that they use gold zip rather than using the same colour with the fabric is slightly awkward to me), spiky hairdo, and many more. The lolita fashion is something in between the elegance of the past and funky parts of modernity.

Every person resonates to different fashion of choice, and for me that falls to lolita fashion. I feel pretty when I wear lolita. I always admire myself for a long time in the front of mirror if I wear lolita. I don’t mind wearing lolita in public and even I feel proud with it, it’s just that I cannot wear it 24/7 or be a daily lolita because I’m too tired if I have to wear it everyday and in my place, people will see you weird if you always wear fancy clothes (my mom even forbid me to wear my petticoat and platforms for Sunday mass because she said people here are really not used to highly fancy person so you will be instantly be a talk…. although I don’t know if it’s only her opinion or that just the reality).

The more I wear lolita fashion, it feels more natural to me to the point that it doesn’t feel costumey at all. I wore it not only at Japanese conventions but countryside music festival, hanging out in the downtown, and even for intercity travel. It can be more casual by using T-shirt for the top, shorter socks, less accessories, and less poofy or even no petticoat. If you pick the right main pieces, it’s easy to make casual lolita and you don’t need to buy separate fashion items or “daily kawaii” things, so you can save more. Lolita fashion makes me understand the issue of fast-fashion and I become more aware on how to mix and match the fashion items and when I should get a new one.

That’s how I know the lolita fashion and why I love it. I am still in early stage because I have been wearing for only a year, and I don’t feel bored to wear lolita fashion yet. Even I don’t mind repeating coordinates. I love this fashion and I can’t wait to get more items. Thanks for reading my story and please do check and follow my lolita fashion Instagram on @maidenswhispers.